I've just noticed that September has consistently been a low point for me for each of the past three years.
Here's to hoping it's different next year.

Today's post is a semi-filler post while I continue to organize my life into a happy medium that I can be comfortable with.
I'm not a fan of unleashing bitter sarcasm or snapping at people.
It's not the standard affair people are used to.

Traveling back to Newton Faulkner's Hand Built by Robots.
It's just a consistently wonderful album for me.
What brought me to his attention was his guitar playing ability.
Add in great arrangement, melodies, an' writing, you've got yourself an album that I'm consistently listening to from beginning to end.

Newton Faulkner - Uncomfortably Slow

Traveling again
I know exactly how it's gonna end
The routine day dream starts as I get off
I'm holding up the queue
Because my ticket won't go through
I know it should be simple but it's not

So don't take my photograph
Cos I don't wanna know how it looks
To feel like this
As cars and people pass
It feels like standing still but I know
I'm just moving uncomfortably slow

Something's gotta change
I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways
So why do I want more
Than what I have?
Brace myself to hear the lies
I wonder if they know that I
Don't get the jokes but I just
Need to laugh

So don't take my photograph
Cos I don't wanna know how it looks
To feel like this
As cars and people pass
It feels like standing still but I know
I'm just moving uncomfortably slow

I'm just moving uncomfortably
Slow down
There's infinite detail
When you break it down
It all becomes simple how
It all becomes clearer now

So don't take my photograph
Cos I don't wanna know how it looks
To feel like this
As cars and people pass
It feels like standing still but I know
I'm just moving sub-consciously
One day I guess I'll be
The man that you think you see
I'm just moving uncomfortably
Slow.

--------------------------

Song captures my mood the past week or so perfectly.
Frustrations an' stress of life.
Along with interpersonal relationships.
Find myself on a see saw with an incredible person.
Or more like a beautiful waltz where all we do is dance around each other.

On a positive: it has inspired a few pieces from me.
Will I ever get around to posting them?
Who knows?

Do you ever just feel like people are only window shopping for personality in the dating scene?

I haven't failed.
I've just managed to find an extraordinary amount of ways that don't work.

Messed up my average of at least one post a month.
Here's a quick update on my life via cliff notes:

- Decided to go full-time Asian an' dye my bangs orange an' the rest of the hair a blood red last month.
- Bar/restaurant where I work at has been closed for roughly four weeks now due to remodeling that the City of Oceanside has put on hold until further notice.
- Currently waiting to hear back from unemployment & welfare applications I put in last week.
- Also waiting to hear back from the 70+ applications I sent/dropped off this week.
- Been spending alot of time editing my works.
- Plan to post up a snippet of a story in the near future.
- Still need to fix my guitar. The only thing keeping the neck from snapping off is the strings.
- Taking a break from dating, but not flirting (it's cost effective)
- Starting to think that might be a bad thing... I burned calories chasing after 'em/
- Typing words here that you read.
- Could use 3 surgeries. The one that pains me the most is my left knee. The one that takes priority is the one that corrects sleep apnea. The one that gets the least attention is a procedure to clear out leftover mold from my lungs that weren't killed by antibiotics.
- Hasn't been sick for quite awhile.
- Wondering if I just jinxed myself.
- Can't remember if there was anything else I needed/should bring to your attention.
- Plans on ending these lil' notes here soon.
- Probably will end these lil' notes soon.
- Wondering how long I can keep this going?
- Wondering how long this joke can go 'til it gets old.
- Currently ending cliff notes on my recent life.

In closing: I'd prefer everyone that reads this to enjoy the present in a way that doesn't make them regret the past.

That statement being more profound if you imagine myself stroking my fu man chu while I say it.

Let me tell you a story:

Drunken marine walks up to our bar because our door guy only checks id and leaves it up to us to refuse to pour drinks to pre-plastered people.
Looks at me, then tells me: "I want an order of crunchy rolls."
I reply: "We're the bar connected to a CHINESE RESTAURANT. Kitchen's closed, I can only cook you appetizers."
Him: "Well be a good chink an' fry some egg rolls up good."

I stay quiet and let it slide because I'm burntout, wrong type of Asian, and he's in that drunken stupor where if he doesn't get what he wants, he's gonna throw a hissy fit like the mature adult should.

Cook up his egg rolls, give him his tab.
In between egg roll one and two, he actually eats most of the tab.
While I stare at him.
Wondering if our military even worries about friendly fire when they hand off rifles.

There's no actual derogatory term for Filipinos, we've managed to laugh 'em all off or ignore them.
I'm annoyed though.
It's just that my short lifetime's been filled with racism, prejudice, and social bias.
It gets irritating sometimes.
Because the majority of the people that joke around with it have no first hand account of how emotionally damaging it can be.

Since Jan 10 of this year I've offered up a daily pick-up line service to anybody that texted the word "LINE" to my cellphone.

Some favorites include:
- Be unique and different: say yes.
- Drink this bottle of tequila and let me know when I look good to you.
- If I had a nickel for everytime I saw a great smile like yours I'd be a poor, poor man.
- I want to put my thingy into your thingy.
- I hate you.
- If you want 30 seconds of ecstasy and a lifetime of shame, I'm your man.
- No lines. I just wanted to say that I really like your smile.

I think I've used up all my wit & creativity to provide daily quality to my subscribers.
No repeats yet.
Turns out I've been neglecting this outlet.
My bad.
Few more pieces I need to finish editing.
Maybe even an excerpt from a Fantasy novel I've put on hold for the past decade or so.
Who knows?

This guy doesn't.

A friend asked me to write about rainbows.
This is the piece I come up with.

Rainbows

It's elementary
How this diversionary
Quite simple burglary of the senses
Can be so extraordinary
Yet oh so ordinary
And lead to this simple statement:

I like rain.

Now I don't mean for this piece to revolve around moodiness.
Or the South Korean entertainer of the same name that has ridiculous abs
that look nothing like mine and set me into the previously mentioned
state of moodiness...

Call this a love poem.
Or a processionary
Somewhat rudimentary
At times tumultuary
Piece of gallantry.

...let's just stick with calling it a love poem.
To my favorite natural occurence.

That thing that we sing in
We dance in
We splash around in
Makeout in
And for some people get some heavy petting done in.
Given enough time, it's guaranteed to make anybody wet.

See, I'm a fan of the rythm.
Drop.
Drop.
It starts up slowly.
Gives you time to notice the change of the wind, the sweeping of the clouds,
the cooling of the air.

Drops turns to pitter patter.

People head for cover as the pitter patters turn into a torrential downpour
of liquid precipation formed by the condensation of atmospheric water vapor
into drops of water
and just
before
you realize I just taught you something scientific...

it stops.

silence.
peaceful silence.
drip.
drip.

For some reason I find myself thinking about physical contact
with a woman in the form of sexual intercourse.

Oh let your drops caress every inch of my body and leave me breathless
with your majestic beauty.

That was about the rain.
Rainbows.
They're pretty.
They remind me that everything's gonna be alright and to relax and just
take a break.

Refractory period.
Now that's a blatant sexual reference.
To be honest, I lost track of any meaningful point I wanted to get across
with this piece.
Probably when I said "it".

I think I'll just go get myself a cup of tea now.

-----------------------------

Rough cut.
Just put this together in the last half hour or so.
Ideally it's broken down in a way so that when you read it, you can get the cadence I'm aiming for.

Dating Manual (Outline)

-Foreword/pep talk
-Confidence (sharks)
-The Approach pt.1: positive body signals (eye contact/smiles)
-The Approach pt.2: bartender is your friend
-The Approach pt.3: competition
-The Approach pt.4: bodyguards (women rarely travel alone)
-The Approach pt.5: non-bar/club settings
-Rejection, it's okay
-The Conversation pt.1: Her, her, her (be aware of surroundings)
-The Conversation pt.2.: positive signals
-The Conversation pt.3: negative signals/when to walk away
-Seriously, rejection's okay
-The Conversation pt.4: get contact info
-Now what? Proper sober contact etiquette
-First Date
-Oh crap! More dates?!
-Closing/Words of encouragement

--------------------------

at the least, a rough edit.
probably find myself posting a few snippets in the following day(s).

A letter to the next woman to catch my interest.

SNORE

"S" is for the sunshine your smile brings to my life.
"N" is for the night when I find myself thinking of you.
"O" is for the other time I find myself thinking of you, day.
"R" is for Reggie, in case you forgot my name.
"E" is for enchanting, the way your laugh rings in my ear.

But I like to think it's more than my friend's snoring that's keeping me up and wondering what
you're doing.
It's one of the constants in my current life.
Breathing.
Eating.
Drinking.
Regular bowel movements.
Thinking of you.

And I like to think that I'm not the only one that gets excited about hearing that notification
sound for a new text.
Hoping it belongs to you.
Being disappointed it's just your roommate needing a ride home from work.

Or your mother.
Who is letting you know that her plane touched down safely.
Sure it's been almost half a year since I've seen her.
But there's only one thing I want to hold in my arms right now.

You.
And cash.

So that's two things.
But the cash is ideal because it'll let me spoil you proper.
The way you deserve.
Because you're a 9.9999.
Add me and you're a perfect 10.

I should've been sleeping 6 hrs. ago.
But you're just running around in my head.
Which probably explains your great legs.
Also, dude snores REALLY loudly.
But yea, still thinking of you.
And how I'd be dreaming of you if it wasn't for the dude passed out in the living room.

Still thinking of you...

Why aren't we dating?

--------------------------

so that's pretty much a shortened version of a spoken word piece I'm working on.
part of my insomnia series.

I figure if this one gets enough attention I'll start posting more.
who knows?
maybe I'll even get inspired to get my guitar an' keyboard out of storage an' start songwriting again.

alternatively, I can take topics from all of you and see what my stream of consciousness comes up with.

Just for fun, the following is a compilation of what I consider the Top 25 sexiest things I've ever been told by a woman.

1 - Your balls look adorable.
2 - I'm not sure how my hand ended up in your crotch.
3 - *lifts up top* these are yours.
4 - I like penguins too.
5 - I skipped my grandmother's funeral to spend time with you.
6 - I got a speeding ticket. (for a booty call)
7 - I'm not wearing panties (said while at church)
8 - get me DRUNK tonight.
9 - I'm a nurse/studying to be one.
10 - I can cook.
11 - Yes.
12 - I don't gag.
13 - I'm on birth control.
14 - I want you sliding in and out of me until we can no longer take the friction.
15 - Ready to fill out that application?
16 - there's a snake between my legs.
17 - Let's forget work an' get back to bed.
18 - Your penis. my mouth. now.
19 - I don't care if my parents are sleeping in the next room.
20 - I'd pay to see you naked.
21 - I'm cooking fried chicken.
22 - I haven't seen your penis, but I'd like to.
23 - *BURP*
24 - I can't find my bra.
25 - I want you more than a stable job.

I lead a boring life.

Newton Faulker: Hand Built by Robots

Released in 2007 but still consistently in my heavy rotation.
It's been awhile since I recommended an album, this would be one of 'em.
I figure it's safe to say it'd be one of my desert island disks.
The following is one of my favorite tracks.
More so because I can identify with it strongly.

Newton Faulkner - I Need Something

I need something to believe in
Cuz I don't believe in myself
And I'm sick and tired
Of getting nowhere
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it anymore

And I need someone to put my trust in
Cuz I ain't trusting myself
And I'm scared of failure
So scared of success
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it any....more
More...
Oh yeah

I need something to believe in
Cuz I don't believe in myself
And I'm sick and tired
Of getting nowhere
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it any....more
More...
Oh yeah

So to keep up with what's starting to seem like an annual tradition, I'm not having any serious dating options at the moment.
I call it bein' fiscally responsible.

I imagine I'll be spending a part of my Valentine's/Singles Awareness Day over at Balboa Park or Seaport Village being aware.

There's one...
There's one...
They'll probably be too by the end of the night.

Some people wonder if I lead a healthy life.

Happy Chinese/Vietnamese New Year!

Also: 60's bash at my bar tonight.
Feel free to join.

Fun commercials this year.

Because it's fun, I celebrated Martin Luther King day with some racial profiling courtesty of North County Law Enforcement.

A routine traffic stop.
Complete with the standard question: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Now normally, I'm very compliant and respectful whenever I get pulled over.
Hands on the steering wheel in plain sight.
Verbally acknowledging everything I'm gonna do before committing them.
i.e. "I'm now going to reach into the glove compartment to grab my registration and proof of insurance for you."

Tonight was different.
I'm not sure if I was just drained from a long week, slightly buzzed, or a combination of the both.
For some reason I found myself in my playful, troublemaking mode that some would refer to as my "charming demeanor".
My pops would refer to that mode as "smartass".

In response, I tell him: "You needed a hug and consolation from the Chargers game?"
Laughter.
Venting.
Mutual bashing of the Raiders.
Eventually he forgets whatever superficial reason it was for pulling me over an' sends me off.

Point of this post?
I found myself thinking of all the possible answer I've ever had for that question but never voiced outloud.

The following would be a partial list:
- Because the sky's blue?
- You thought it was a sexy bitch an' it turned out to be just me?
- Because 4+4 does not equal 29?
- You wanted to confiscate some of my chicken sandwiches?
- To keep one less person away from the donut shop?
- Because your sex is on fire?
- You didn't believe Asians could actually drive well in inclement weather?
- Because I stopped believing?
- *rooster call*
- You were sent from the future to assassinate me?
- Just because?
- You wanted to get my phone number?
- I dated your sister an' broke her heart?
- You needed dry cleaning?
- I'm on candid camera?
- Do I owe you money?
- Because I stole a Watchamacallit bar from 7-11 when I was 8?
- That damn sasquatch.
- Because someone has to.
- To tell me that N'SYNC is coming back together and touring?
- Because the cake is a lie?
- Is it my birthday?
- To tell me I'm doing okay?
- To give you an answer an' have you yell out "wrong!"

Feel free to add to the list.
I don't recommend usin' any of them though.

So I've managed to survive 2010 so far.
Congrats to everyone else reading this.
Apparently you have to.

Been letting the hair grow out since my razor broke last year.
Even had a nice mohawk goin' for New Years Day.
Our bar was holding an 80's theme.

Fu Man Chu's been growing out well also.
Too well in fact.
Keeps getting in my mouth whenever I eat.
I equate it to cunnilingus without any of the benefits for myself.

In case you haven't noticed, there's no life-clarifying moment in this post.
Just a filler 'til I can get around to organizing my thoughts on paper better.

Best wishes to everyone!

[insert semi, non-standard New Year's greeting here]